Early on a cloudy day,
The family came home,
With hopes and dreams,
To a strong house, that
They built their life around
But now, that’s forever gone
The family looks on,
A house of fire stands now
Weak in front of them
Their house, lives
That’s burning to the ground
Smoke fills the air
The house begins to fall
Sounds of disaster and then
Crash, the family’s lives disappear
A house, their house, lies in ruins
Their dreams forever gone
Even fire has done wrong
The family came home,
With hopes and dreams,
To a strong house, that
They built their life around
But now, that’s forever gone
The family looks on,
A house of fire stands now
Weak in front of them
Their house, lives
That’s burning to the ground
Smoke fills the air
The house begins to fall
Sounds of disaster and then
Crash, the family’s lives disappear
A house, their house, lies in ruins
Their dreams forever gone
Even fire has done wrong
7 comments:
I like the description of the fire and how there was life and what they worked so hard for is lost. I like the last line, "even fire has done wrong." Very clever.
"A house, their house, lies in ruins
Their dreams forever gone"
a very crushing closing statement, tre to what a fire does. The only criticism i have is the fire seemed to be somewhat dulled our of the poem. Fire is fire so it cannot be compleatley overlooked, but more of an emphasis would make the poem much more powerful.
This piece was very depressing. The fire and the family's feeings wee described in detail.
I like how you use the house as a deeper symbol for the lives of the family, instead of just describing it as destructive. The ending is a great line, as Christine said, I think its interesting how you rhymed the last line-I don't know if it was on purpose or not.
Great poem. I like how you still encorporate some rhyme scheme in it and the idea that this family not only lost their house, but their lives is really touching.
I like how you went into what the house lookedlike after the fire that really grasped my attention. I alsolike the fact that you discribed their house as their lives.
Wow--this poem realy resonated with your classmates.
Great last line. I think Sarah's point about how you use the fire as a symbol is on target. Nice job.
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